I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
