they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
