quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
