so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize