Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Randomize
