But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
