It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
