So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize