At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize