An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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