May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize
