my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
