The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Randomize
