He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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