at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
