i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I would fuck him just for his dog
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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