the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Randomize