My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
