why didn't you poke me back
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
