giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
