keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
