A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
