i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
