Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize