is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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