found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
