I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
