You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
