Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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