You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
