I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
i wish my penis had a tongue
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Randomize
