i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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