im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
