i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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