she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
