Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
