Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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