Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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