sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
