Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Randomize
