Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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