Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize