I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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