We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
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