What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
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