Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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