We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
