So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Randomize
