If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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