So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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