u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
