There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I still have a little drunk in my system
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
