i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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