I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
he just fucked me for my cheese.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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