one might say we're banned from that church
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
