i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
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