I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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