All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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