She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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