Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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