so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Randomize
