there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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