I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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