Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
