just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
