You're my little dorito
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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