I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
