yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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