WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
