if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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