She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize