Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
