Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
