you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
