bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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